Wonderful Christmastime, by Paul McCartney
The opening synthesizer riff of â€œWonderful Christmastime,â€ symbolic of the songâ€™s late-â€˜70s production era in the same way air raid sirens are symbolic of World War II, serves as kind of an early warning signal: â€œchange the station,â€ it calls out. â€œChange the station before Paul lets us know that â€˜the moon is right.â€™â€ And we do. Yet radio keeps playing it and shopping malls slather us in its goo as if doing so isnâ€™t just one more excuse to shop online.
It would be shocking, really, to consider that the guy who gave us â€œLive and Let Dieâ€ and â€œMaybe Iâ€™m Amazedâ€â€”and who was at least 25 percent of The Beatlesâ€”managed to scribble out, record, and actually release a song containing such lyrical damage as â€œThe choir of children sing their song / ding dong, ding dong / ding dong, ding / ohhhh / ohhhhhhh,â€ and the phrase â€œsimply having a wonderful Christmastimeâ€ repeated 75 times. Until, of course, you realize that Paul McCartney is the evil genius behind â€œLet â€˜Em Inâ€ and â€œSilly Love Songs.â€ He’s also the guy who stole Stevie Wonderâ€™s mojoâ€”an artistic assault with a deadly weapon from which the latter has yet to recover, three decades later.
Clearly, although Sir Paul is a Music Legend with a Ton of Talent, heâ€™s not infallible. â€œWonderful Christmastimeâ€ serves as an argument in favor of middle management, because someone expendable needs to be able to tell the cash cow, â€œNo.â€